Chokoreto

2012-01-27T05:37:00.000-08:00

Feeling so vexed these days...
Today while resting in bus, i felt that someone from behind was touching my fingers..
I chua sai sia.. I turn behind nothing there.. holy shit. immediately I energetic sia~ It really feels like 3 fingers touching my fingers..
Anyway... These days instead of 444, i kept seeing 555...
Researched about 555, realised that it meant that it's time to change...?
Change doesnt mean good or bad, it's just change..
Those reoccurring numbers are actually angels trying to communicate with me..?
Real or not, I'm starting to like the spookiness of this entire matter.. haha!

My pretty nails broke into half today.. had to cut all of them.. -_-" Crap.. Just when I decided to buy that pretty caramel colour nail polish from Daiso, my nail broke.. x_x
Lucky no blood sia.. but break until inside.. LOL like cool only~ Anyway Waiting for my nails to grow back so i can cut the remaining chipped nails.. T_T

School is getting more and more stressful! Haix.. Don't even know if I should continue get my BA(Hons) Degree or not.. -.-

Good news, I'm getting fat already! Even when I walk, my big thigh will hit each other.. then very pain. LOL!! YAYYYY Fat until got difficulty walking le~ Zai bo! XD
Gonna measure my weight weeks later.. Gonna gain 5 more KG to donate blood! ^_^
I WILL EAT MORE FOOD AND EXERCISE MORE! Muscles are heavier than fats... XD
These days been forcing myself to eat.. I want to prove to my parents that I CAN DE! =P

I miss going to Veron's house.. Haix.. Wen jie ah wen jie.. Your gan ma cut nails already, can carry you liao! ^_^

Going back to school during weekends to do my homework... Must have self discipline le.. I want to let dad and mum know that I am dependable!

2012-01-21T01:21:00.000-08:00

Was inspired by this letter...
When I told my mum that I want to donate blood, she ji tao scold me..
"不要跟我讲这些废话!!" Am I in the wrong??
Don't understand her seriously..
Mum and dad was scolding me, shouting at me..
Telling me that donating blood could get me infected with AIDS..
Telling me that I'm old already, can make my own decision, don't have to listen to them already..
My dad was telling me that next time if I need blood, I'll have to pay for it..
So what? I want to donate blood to save other people's life first..
I hope someone would help my parents if they ever need help.. ~_~ Just sayin~
Telling me that I'll grow very fat if I stop donating blood..(I WANT to grow fat. ~_~)
If I can grow fat by saving lifes, why not? It's a life I'm talking about..
When was the last time they had contributed to the society?
Even my friends don't support me.. Maybe they just didn't have the courage to..?
The blood bank is in need of O type blood.. My dad is O so I'm probably O type.. I'm not sure if I'm A or O but no matter what at least I did what I should do..
Didn't expect my parents to be so selfish..
I'm not donating now.. looking at my current situation I know I cant donate that's why I'm eating more than usual.. But at least GIVE ME SOME SUPPORT??
So disappointed..

2012-01-17T07:07:00.001-08:00

如果你爱一个人、你不会管他的过去做过什么。-T'Pei Yi

Sounded so impossible... Wished that my story was like this....

2012-01-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

Been lacking of sleep these days. x_x so tired~

Dont like my hair~

2012-01-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

Happened to find these 2 pics on FB...
Brought back some memories...

Met Kevin at Bugis...
Passed me some Macarons, dark chocolate and Green tea biscuits..
What's the point of doing all these..

2012-01-09T07:54:00.001-08:00

Seriously, FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE ANIMALS! _l_
Damn heartbreaking to see animals get abused by heartless people..
Imagine I step on your son's head till the brain come out one day..
I FREAKIN HOPE YOU'LL GET YOUR RETRIBUTION!
Why take pictures of those poor kittens?
YOU THINK EVERYONE IS AS SICK AS YOU, MOFO? FUCK YOU.
Fag sia these heartless people..

-----

Was feeling happy just now cuz talked to auntie about Eileeng's matter..
I'm like back to normal already..
Who knows knnbccb i go fb saw pictures of kittens kena abused..
Heart damn pain... Feeling sad now... can't do my homework.... shit...
haix..

-----
Anyway.. class today was crappy... I don't have enough sleep..
Zzzz
Should stay back tomorrow..? Mhmmmm~

2012-01-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

I hope I wasn't even there in the first place...
Right now I'm facing all the shit that I don't deserve..
Why is it so unfair for me..??!
Right now I'm just getting rid of all the unnecessary problems I don't need.
be it school work or whatsoever, can clear away de jiu clear..
if not make me more pek chek only.. tmd..
I need to calm down man.. seriously...

2012-01-07T08:14:00.001-08:00

Sky and Eileeng wanted to divorce..
I was the witness of the whole incident..
Sky was treating Eileeng like shit yet she still wants to be with him..
Sky even doubt that Wen Jie is his son..
All the shit happened to her.. I can only tell her one thing....
She asked for it..
Not that I'm being cruel whatsoever.. but really.. she DID asked for it..
We had a quarrel on facebook..
Sky was there.. he actually mentioned about my past..
nice one..
You can say whatever shit you want.. but not my past..
And guess what..? Eileeng was biting the hand that feeds her..!
Her husband was hurting her and she actually scolded me and she supported her husband!
Nice one for Ethan who was trying to help out.. Go ahead..

Knnb Sky.. Mentioned my past sibo.. Nice one la hor..
I cannot do anything about it but seriously just good luck with your fucked up life..
Seriously who would help someone who turn her back against me?
dont know what happen then dont poke your nose into this matter..
seriously sick of all this shit.. Fuck man...

2012-01-04T05:24:00.000-08:00

Today I painted a person's face.. looked like shit..
all my classmate's paintings are better than mine..
the model is from China.. she has quite a wide chin..
yet the face I painted, looked like an ANG MOH =.=
And it seems like it's anorexic.. -.- looks like she has not eaten for weeks man...
Seriously horrible witch looking face..
the model's face so white and smooth yet i paint until she look like got alot of acne on her face..
MY PAINTING STYLE IS LIKE IMPRESSIONIST WHAT! -_-" So there ought to be alot of obvious brushstrokes on my painting....
haix.. my first painting..
teacher asked me not to think about comparing my still life and portraiture painting..
he said "I know your still life is good but this is a portrait, dont put them together, dont compare them.. Just practice at home more often.."
WELL I WILL PRACTICE AT HOME AND OF CUZ I WILL FREAKIN SHOCK YOU WITH MY FINAL PAINTING! I will improve.. I MUST IMPROVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

-----

After school i asked Jane to accompany me to shop for new year clothes..
Saw 1 dress not very nice.. but when i wear it, look so damn elegant on me!
I look like a rich girl! LOL! But the price also very nice lar.. -.-
it's freakin 50 bucks.. no wonder..
Anyway i will go shopping with my mum on the weekends! WEEEEEE~
After shopping, me and jane went to Bedok to eat Curry Chicken Noodle..
Bought 2 kinder joy for Joey, hope she likes it! ^_^
I finally satisfy my craving~ ^_^
But auntie was too nice to not accept my money.. T_T WHYYYYYY?!?!
I almost cried.. T_T She say got visit her she happy liao..
Was happy to see her smile when she first saw me... :)
I always thought she didnt like me....

-----

I'm mad about Tchaikovsky these days..
Is loving "The Nutcracker", "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy" and "Swan Lake"!!
GAHHHHHHH SO NICEEEEEEE! ^_^

2012-01-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

School reopen le... I'll be taking double History and double SAS...
NICE ONE LAAAAA! =.= My this sem de History sure fail de..
Firstly I'm the class rep.. if I don't do a good job, later kena deduction of marks how?
Secondly, it's ALL ABOUT THEORY. Fuck man =.=
Thirdly, he looked inexperienced.. Kindda scared..
Lastly, I DONT LIKE THE WAY HE TEACH!
Hes giving us 80 pages of readings... like seriously..?
Being the class rep, I'll have to print 80 pieces of paper for 20 students each..
1600 papers.. you serious? you really want me to print that much papers? =.=
Nice way of killing me on the first day of lesson..

-----

Had a strong craving for Bedok's curry chicken noodle..
So strong that I had to buy the one from my house downstairs...
The taste is so effing disgusting...
No choice.... no choice...
I'll go there and eat someday.. probably bring along a few guys to purposely cause misunderstandings.. LOL
Nah.. I'll just go with Jane, or Aaron and Pearl..
Sometimes I wanted to buy Kinder Joy for Joey and Javier.. I wonder if they've been a good girl and boy these days.. But I think without me teaching them, they'll still stay the same..

-----

WANTED TO GO AARON'S HOUSE TO BAI NIAN!
-WILL DRAG PEARL, ZHU HONG AND SHEN LIN ALONG!-
Poor boy.. relatives mostly in Sarawak.. The most I can do as a friend is to celebrate CNY with him! ^_^ MUAHAHAHA!! SURPRISEEEEEE!!
Who ask him to put his full address and contact details in facebook =.=

-----

Anyway the number 444 keep appearing in my life again...
all the 444 incident happened after i dreamt of the accident..
I hope they're not linked..
If something were to happen to me, who will look after my parents..?
I must keep looking out for signs already..
Will go temple to pray tomorrow! ^_^

Ahh~ Gotta finish my Anlene and sleep already! =D

2012-01-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

Mad with my father today..
He almost killed the entire family for his moment of rashness on the road..
There was this car on the expressway, going slowly at 70 or 80..
That car is obviously taking his own sweet time so my father was just pissed at him..
My father could've switched lanes and just get over with it since there were very less cars..
BRAINLESSLY, my father went at 120, he went infront of that slow car, he suddenly brake the car, wanted the slow car behind him to purposely crash his van..
seriously, what the fuck is he thinking..
then he went at 120 again and he gave a sudden brake again..
Me and didi was sitting behind the van.. My father didnt think of us and just act foolishly..
My mum had the shock of her life, getting an asthma relapse in the car..
what the fuck..
i told my father not to speed but he shouted at me, asking me to shut up..
How responsible he is..
an adult doing such stupid act..

He didnt even feel remorseful and didnt even apologise to my mum..
My mum shut herself in her room after we reached home..
My dad kept asking me to go look after my mum..
I said: Why should I? All this things you caused it de.. why should I go? YOU should go instead..
the only reply he gave me was : everyone has a temper..
Tmd.. i ji tao shoot him : YA LAH.. Temper la hor.. Adult already still do things without thinking..
He ji tao bo wei gong sia..

First time I felt so disappointed in my father..

---
Was in a bad mood.. wanted to be alone..
Ethan kept talking to me on fb.. kept talking to me.. wanted me to share stuffs..
seriously... I was even more pissed off..
I know hes being nice but he don't have to keep repeating himself..
How I wish hes some what like aik hoe.. at least we didnt talk like everyday so naturally there are more things to talk about..
He gave me that "shu han feeling".. Not good, obviously..
Okay lemme get this clear, if i really need someone to talk to, obviously there's eileeng and eileeng's mum.. Other than them I feel that theres no other suitable candidates..

Went to eileeng house that day to visit auntie.. guess who I saw..?
I saw Ethan.. He was like pretending not to see me or dont want to see me, pretend that I wasnt there, didnt even say hi to me.. and seriously.. was pissed even up till today..
I will never forget what he did that day.. I didnt knew that he was this kindda person..

So we decided to talk it out.. Oh finally hes talking to me.. I thought I'm invisible..?

-----

School reopening already.. like finally..
I was kindda looking forward to it..
I finally can see my friends.. Pearl, Aaron, Zhu Hong and Shen Lin~
I have to avoid someone though..
Some fucked up guy, got girlfriend already stil keep flirting with me..
seriously... If I don't avoid his texts and messages, I'll be looking for trouble man..
=.= This world so big, why come bother me sia..
Got gf already still act like this.. Still got the cheek to ask me why am I avoiding him.. Retarded or what? Isnt it obvious? =.=

-----

2nd semester of year 2! It's gonna be tough!!
New things to learn, new teachers and fucked up time tables.. =.=
How I wish I live near the school..
I'm going to stay in school till 8:30 on Friday..
I hope it's some kind of E-learning thing.. so I can go home at 6pm every Friday instead of 8.30! ^_^
I don't mind staying till 11pm everyday man...
I'm sure Aaron will accompany me de! WEEEEEE! NOT ALONE! LOL!
Pearlie White got all the Adobe progs so she won't be staying with me..
But I'll force her to stay if she has doubts! LOL!
So glad that I can learn this shit faster than anybody else..
I'm a keyboard warrior! ^_^

2011-12-30T15:50:00.000-08:00

Went out for the entire day and i actually came home safely at 7.40AM in the morning...
The first thing I saw was...

You really have no idea how much I wanted to cry when I saw the leftovers..
I knew they were for me.. Felt so much love and efforts from my mum..
I should stay at home and eat my dinner than going out and have fun..
What the hell am I doing seriously... I shouldn't go out anymore..
I must've disappointed them when I'm not at home for dinner.. I'm feeling very guilty..
Very, very guilty..... Somehow I always wanted to hug my dad and thank him for waking up early in the morning to work and earn money for us.. That's his way of showing love I guess, I can see his effort. I can feel his love for the the whole family.. Not complaining every since he married my mum.. What a noble man!
I wish to share his burden asap... This requires a lot of planning but it's necessary..

I love my parents.. but I don't know how to tell them.... I guess the only thing I can do is just to show them good results..? I'm more than contented to know that my mother is a little bit proud of my results for this semester! I feel so happy! :)

-----

Haix.. This few days don't know why, i lost 2kg.. it's like i'm freakin trying to gain weight here and I slim down??! Like cool only.. I've been eating lots of crappy food, eating supper, macdonalds, cup noodles.. I seriously did NOTHING to lose weight.. -_-" I must seriously eat more already... I want to be more than 45kg so I can donate blood.. T_T I'm like freakin 38kg now.. sounds so freakish! =.=

2011-12-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

Fuck man.. Been lacking of sleep these days..
Make me bad mood every day.. sibei sian.. =.=
Results not out yet.. paranoid everyday.. -_-"
arghhhhhhhhh!! T_T

2011-12-08T08:33:00.001-08:00

Can't wait for my results.. I hope I did well this year or else i'll be disappointing my parents.. Thanks to the DUDE who kept spamming messages, i didn't have enough sleep everyday.. Was about to freakin scold that person but come to think of it, i better not waste a single sms on him..

Been practicing drawing face features during the holidays.. I want to improve.. I must improve! So what if my painting is good when i cannot even paint or even draw the face features properly..? I'm not a good artist.... sigh.. Sometimes I ask myself, why am I working so hard for my future..? Firstly, for X, secondly probably my parents... but for what...? X is gone... Forever... I usually ask EiLeeng not to think too much... but end up I'm the one getting emo and stuffs.. I can't show it.. I must hide everything... .. but she don't know how hard is it to control my feelings everytime.. it's been almost 3 years.. What have I achieved..? I'll be letting him down.... ... Hes always been my motivation.. my inspiration... my everything...

Must I really fake a smile everyday..? I've been doing it for almost 3 years already...

I came all the way here, i better not let all the sacrifices go down the drain..
No more relationships man.. Sometimes, I just feel that i don't want to get married.. It's pointless.. it's not like i cannot support myself, it's not like I need care and concern.. I just want X.. Hes enough to fill my entire world with colours..

Sigh.. Why am I thinking about the past again...?

2011-10-30T01:00:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday to myself....
Probably the saddest birthday ever..

What do you take chances as? Something free flow?
If not, why did you take it for granted?
I really hope to be by your side right now, listening to your sorrows and problems..
What about you? you took me for granted.. A lot of times..
You don't take me seriously..
You're not scared of losing me..
Because if you do, on that day at 7pm you wouldn't bathe and eat dinner before finding me when you already know you're gonna be late...
You knew you could reach at 8 when you could rush down and take taxi at 7.
30 mins to reach my house. you could've reached at 8 exactly or even earlier.
we wouldn't have broken up... you've made your choice and I could see it with my own eyes...
After you reached, you didnt appear worried.. your first word from your mouth isn't even "sorry".. In fact, you probably didn't say it in the entire conversation...
the first thing that came out from your mouth is asking me what do I want..
You're late bastard, why the fuck you ask me?
Since you didn't put in your heart and effort into this relationship, then don't expect me to return to you. i've made my decision.
Don't say you did put effort into this relationship because all the facts above^ are against you.

Right now, although it's very unbearable for me to leave you completely, I still want to request something from you.. It's my first and my very last request from you..

I gave you so many chances before, this time it'll be the first time me asking a chance from you, to let me lead my new life without you.. Please leave me alone..

Want to know why I didn't reply your birthday wish for me in FB?
It's because I don't find the need to when you already disgraced me in front of everyone in YOUR FB.
Remember what you insulted me in FB? You better do.
I really hope you'll find someone who is better than me since I'm not good enough for you to cherish..

The money that Eileeng owe us, just take it.. I don't want it. yes, I'm rejecting money. so what? Just don't fucking piss me off again by asking her to return me the money instead.. that'll make me hate you even more. If you still want us to be friends, don't make me hate you.

Don't ask aunty and eileeng for help anymore.. She'll get scolded and it's pointless cuz i'll never get back to you... I don't want to get hurt again...

2011-10-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

At least I tried to fight for you..
At least I did what I should do as a girlfriend..
At least I appear aggressive to my competitors so I won't lose you..
At least.. I know I tried..

If I fail eventually, I won't be upset because I know I tried..

(The below post is for that bitch. Can see or not, IDGAF)
Nice one for Chanelle Ng.. Now she know how it feels..
Pretty insecure to have a girl being added as a friend in your bf's friend list huh?
Call me childish whatsoever you want.
I just detest you. Not happy? Come find me..
Own self got bf already still don't know how to behave.
Go around liking "cool", "reasonable" and "humorous" status huh?
Since you did nothing wrong why the fuck you get so paranoid when I just added your bf?
Fucking slut, you obviously fucking knew what you did wrong.
Only my pathetic pea sized brain bf would trust you.. ("she just like my status cuz it's funny") Oh rly? you really think so?
That's why I said boys are so insensitive..
Your friends don't mind cuz they probably got too used to you flirting around with their bf or they just don't feel the fear of losing their loved ones.
Look girl, mine's for KEEPS.
For me, it's better to be safe than sorry.
No matter how much trust we have in each other, I would still choose to be "pest free"..
Don't get it? you're just one of the pest I'm talking about.
You're the bitch who mess around with my bf, maybe some other guys too~ *ahem*
Love yourself girl. Don't be so easy.. But I seriously hope you'll get aids. I think that's the only thing that can make you learn your lesson.
Go around fooling with other people's boyfriend is NOT COOL man~
Low life bitch! _l_

2011-10-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

Thinking of you...

2011-09-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Don't know why suddenly get so emotional..
maybe cuz i'm listening to sad songs.. BY JAY CHOU~ =P
maybe cuz... I miss you..

I can tell that you're trying...
but for how long, i don't know..
can you last for a month? half a year? a year?
how long can you take?

when are you going to change
I have seriously thought of getting back with you after your NS..
Who knows you yesterday suddenly got so impatient..
makes me feel even more unready to be with you..
I don't know why am I like that.. Maybe cuz of the phobia you gave me..?

You made me lost confident in relationships..
I'm getting more and more afraid of quarrels...
in fact, now I don't want any quarrels in our relationship.. not even one..
is it possible?

2011-09-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

If only your eyes are big enough to see my message carefully that I wanted to watch that movie too.. So I went out with my friend, who has been trying to ask me out for the past FEW YEARS... So what if I went out with a guy friend? I'm single now, trying to forget how fucked up guy's brain can get.. I did nothing unfaithful to you before, even up till now.. Still hating me for going out with other guy? Please, for god sake just grow up la.. Going out with other guy FRIENDS doesn't even mean anything.. Since you take it so seriously I guess you still have a long way to go... I'm starting to feel that this breakup isn't such a bad decision afterall.. I should just give up.. You everything also kan bu kai, everything only know how to doubt me, I say go out with shu han immediately the very first fucking shit that came into your mind is that you're starting to doubt me, like what you always did, you start to give your whatever fucked up blessing for whatever god sake reasons which makes me want to laugh badly.. U think you god ah? God also not as blind as you to even doubt me for all the small reasons.. Your brain is seriously fucked up.. Seriously, what the fuck did I ever do wrong before to make you get so fucked up for the past few months till now? Even now you're doubting me and shu han? Lol! What a joke.. I seriously shouldn't put hopes on you.. Freaking kid haven't grow up till now.. Doubting all the way.. Your problem alrdy la.. Doubt all you want! I don't fucking care. Strong will? Strong will to doubt more? Strong will to believe that every guy I go out with I like them? Strong will, too strong that it fucking blinds you? Clog your brain? So strong that you can't tell that I'm fucking faithful up till now?

2011-09-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

^My favourite song of his..

2011-09-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

Been drinking hard liquor these days.. Trying to forget all our sad memories..
Trying to accept the fact that our love is no longer the same..
Also, trying to figure out how long will it take you to come back to me..
if only you had some initiative...
but whenever i say this, you would complain that i'm demanding..
I won't be demanding anymore cuz I think I'm not the right one for you..
you're a pessimist and even a small mistake in my sentence could get you enraged..

My past, your past, my attitude, your attitude, my family members and your family members are like a hindrance to our relationship..
We no longer understand each other like how we used to be..
we no longer compromise to each other..
we don't communicate so well anymore..

we're drifting away...
Maybe when we are both 20 plus years old, we would understand..
maybe i'm really too demanding that i don't feel a pinch..
or maybe it's the fact that you're taking this relationship for granted that you're too lazy to do something about it to savage this relationship..

Maybe our anger just blinds us..
Maybe we're just too young to be in a relationship..

"Blaming each other is futile. Just end it."

2011-09-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Another day without you... When will you be by my side again..?
When will you put a stop to those guys who are trying to win my heart? When are you going to let them know that they don't stand a chance and my heart is only for you..? When will it happen.... When can we be together again....? When will you say I love you to me? When can I overcome the phobia you gave me? When will you ever be mature enough? I don't like the divorced status in my fb.. Guys will come and annoy me... Then you will start to doubt me... It's always like that.. Guys come talk to me, I have nothing to hide that's why I show you! End up you doubt me even more.. I'm trying to win your trust but end up there are more conflicts.. Todustiitsdidtiistsitfiidtiidtifiygioygofofifzifixfjjffizissididdiduiffikkxgccjcjxjfi

When will we ever stop all this pointless quarrels???!???!!!???

2011-09-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

Another day without you..
Glad that you can use Internet over there.. It somehow makes me feel connected with you still..
Wish you could hug me when I'm sleeping.. I miss it so much! But at the same time, I should control myself better..

How are you over there? Are you used to eating the food over there? How about the water there?
Wonder when are you returning...
Kiyan was always mentioning you... gives me a hard time to find an excuse to compromise them, at the same time making them remain the same good impression they always had from you...

2011-09-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

I miss a hug from you...
What are you doing now..? Did you reach Malaysia safely..?
I got you a desert Aisha! A nicely named one! Means this pet is worth a lot! :) I'm so lucky! ;)
i wanted to watch that video u posted again but I don't why it's gone.. Mhmmm...
Today, it's another day without you.. I don't feel any better of course...
Just... Missin you...

2011-09-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

Cherry! Give up lah!! GIVE UP!! He don't care already! Think so much for what? *Throws vases at you* After all the shit he gave you, why would you even bother to help him talk?

So what if dad and mum forgive him?
He already give up on you! Can you even overcome the phobia he caused you?
Stop thinking le Cherry.. He don't love you..
If he does, he'll appreciate the very last chance you gave him but he chose to give up..

-Is trying to get over it-
-need to rant-

i've been crying for 2 days already...
It's difficult trying to act happy infront of my friends..
I suddenly feel so alone... like nobody's beside me..
my fist still hurts but I can still paint..
I'm still worried for you...
Genting is a very cold place...
I hope your finger wouldn't crack because of the weather..
i'm not sure if you're going there or not, just remember to bring moisturizer for your hand..
you need eye drops too, it's pretty windy there, you eyes might get dried up easily
bring an extra jacket, don't catch a cold while you're sleeping..
don't eat too much heaty food, you just recovered from your sore throat..
drink warm water.. don't drink cold drinks early in the morning..
that'll worsen your backache.. and may even get feng shi..

If really going Genting, remember to bring jacket for your sis.. let your parents know you care for her.. your parents too.
take care of your sister of course..
eat all three meals.. more vegetable if you want to slim down..
don't think of anything or even stress yourself during your trip, just relax.. Don't make your parents worry about you and me..
I'll be fine in Singapore.. Just that the haze is making my throat upset..
it's time to eat chocolate and get your attention like you did..

I hate..and love you..
why did you give up?

2011-09-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

THIS, will be the last time I'll be crying because of him..
Although I promised myself that I'm gonna stay strong but some things just...
I'm quite surprised by his reaction after I told him that I talked to my friend on phone before..
I bet hes curious about our full conversation..
Well, here it goes, it's something like that...

One day, jane and aikhoe met at fajar..
aikhoe asked me how am i..
jane told him to call me to ask himself..
I was sleeping so without looking, i hang up his call thinking that it was an alarm..
he was upset of course, thinking that i don't see him as a friend already
aikhoe told jane "you see! she kup my phone"
then jane called me..
this time, i opened my eyes and saw that it was jane..
she asked me what am I doing and if i want some supper or not..
then i said no, after that i just hang up the phone...

the next day, jane asked me why i kup aikhoe's phone..
i didn't know of course, so i went to call him to clear our misunderstanding..
I said "Hey I thought your call was my alarm yesterday so I hang up! I'm very sorry, i didn't mean it.."
then he said it was a misunderstanding afterall..
my reply " lol okay.. bye! sorry ah!"

---
I DID call him, i DID talk to him on the phone..
but so what?
I'm freakin honest here and you accuse me of sweet talking with him..
joke.. you insulted me and xenon without knowing the full story..
how nice..
I hope you won't treat your future girlfriend like this..
---
I really hope breaking up with you is a right choice for me..
just one message can make you misunderstood me so much..
you said that you won't bring up my past..
my aunt, my friend, my mum and my sis, knew about your insults and doubt to me..
they knew it a month ago.. but i still chose to forgive you cuz i won't give up easily..
I really place all my hope on this last chance but you screw it..
So what if I still love you even up till now eventhough you hurt me so deeply this time?
I'm going to take my time to forget you..
---
This 10 months plus I'm very happy when i'm with you..
Really... you keep asking me, so this is my answer, my final answer..
---
If possible, I would love to see how you'll look like after you come out from NS..
I guess we would be more mature by then.. but..we might not have the same feeling anymore but I really hope we will!
you're nicest guy I've ever met, probably the worst too..
worst as in the one that hurt me the most..
that's probably because i put in too much trust in you..
seriously, who would post:
1.i'm having sore throat blah blah blah..
2.i'm eating chocolate
3.why my sore throat won't recover?

you're trying to get my attention.. lol I know, i can tell. I'm not stupid..
I care for you but I didn't show it..
actually, i've been stalking you for the past few days..
I want to be updated, want to know how you're doing..
because i love you... and of course, i'm still upset with your actions..
I'm afterall a nuisance..
---

Remember how much I wanted your attention that I wanted to learn how to play CS for you? i secretly trained with didi also.. just to please you...

also remember how i wanted you to play neopets with me?
after all this months you finally started an account..
if you think that i didn't think of you in these days, actually i got you a jelly aisha, knowing that you like it alot... but your account cannot trade pets after 4 months.. so after 4 months i'll transfer to you the jelly aisha.. the next month i'll transfer an alien aisha for you since you can only transfer pet once a month..
but i don't know if you'll be playing 4 months later..
heres the link for dailies: www.neopets.com/~jubbyjubjack
so you won't have to ask me again..

i dun really wish to recall our sad times..
but i really wish to see you though..
miss you alot..
but i don't wish to see you either..
maybe someday you'll understand why i'm a nuisance, keep asking you if you love me or not..
you're the first guy who gives me a sense of secure and I don't want to lose you..
I like that sense of secure from you... I like you saying I love you to me..
that's the sweetest thing i ever want to hear from you..
but it became meaningless..
there's once i said i love you to you when you're playing game...
and you just said back to compromise me.. maybe you won't admit, but that's how i'm feeling..

---
i'm strong.. i'll wait for you till you're out from NS..
but if you're still the same, i guess it's time for me to let go fully..
i won't be with you for this 2 years and whatsoever months.. i don't know how long I can wait for you.. no promises..

...and yes i still love you and i miss you badly..

2011-09-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

I hate bitches.. seriously hate them to the core..
However, I welcome challenges anytime..
Lowlife bitches.. Fuck you . _l_

Another retard, don't know how to take care of himself, want to take care of others?
Seriously? I'm a nuisance to you, so I SHAN'T bother or even nag at you.
Get someone who don't give a fuck about your health bitch..
Get someone who fucks with other people and don't even give a fuck about your life.
Another words, I'm tired of it.. Why do I even care?
You don't care, why should I?
Ruin your health all you want.. People like that are simply childish.

You're getting sick of saying sweet things I guess I should just live with it and get over it..
You DON'T HAVE to..
Words without meaning are like shit. Seriously, fuck that C* b!tch...

So many days without a news from you.. seriously, I give up...
I don't mean anything to you.. I don't HAVE to and I don't NEED to..
Right now, i don't WANT to..

So much for settling down.. I don't want a future husband who will find me a nuisance..
Get yourself a girl who can't talk.. Bitch..

2011-09-09T09:01:00.001-07:00

it's 12 now, happy 11th monthsary... Don't know if that counts or not, just letting you know that I haven't forgot this day at all..

2011-08-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

过去的事最好是忘掉不然心痛的人是自己。

2011-07-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

你想要做同性恋者你就去吧。别浪费我的时间，还以为你想通了。你真让我觉得你很恶心。

2011-07-25T03:43:00.000-07:00

One day of effort only give up liao? You're so damn fucked up to not know that all I look out for is EFFORT! EFFORT YOU FOOL! NOT MONEY! Fucking blind.. Bloody low confident.. NO HOPE FOR YOU UNTIL YOU WAKE UP AND KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I WANT..

Your "will and determination".. Worth one day only? Please.. Don't say till so wei da when you can't even tahan for a day.. I can do better than you dude.. WAKE UP AND PROVE IT TO ME IF YOU REALLY HAVE THE HEART TO WANT ME BACK. NOT WORDS FULL OF LIES.. You can't start till you know what I want..
Here's a big hint for you..

EFFORT

DEFINITION OF EFFORT MEANS NOT TO FUCKING GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT SHIT COMES OVER YOU OR HIT YOU ON THE HEAD.
EFFORT NEEDS TIME TO PROVE
EFFORT MEANS WINNING THAT FUCKED UP GIRL BACK.
DON'T GET IT? ASK YOUR TEACHER WHAT'S EFFORT.
WITH EFFORT, YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU WANT.
GET IT? GET IT?
WITH EFFORT, CAMBRIDGE WILL GIVE YOU A GOOD GRADE..
CAMBRIDGE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY, DON'T WANT YOUR BRIBE..
THEY ALSO WANT TO SEE EFFORT, JUST LIKE ME. GET IT??
GET IT??

Edited: After reading this, you still decided to give up, still having low confident, then I guess I shouldn't pin my hopes on you anymore. You see, you give up, why should I hang on? If I don't have any hope in you, why the fuck will I write all this? Why the fuck would I give you such a fucking big hint when you don't even understand what I mean? Even though you don't understand, can't you tell at least I don't want us to end so I'm making things easier by hinting you? Why would I get so pissed off when you don't understand? It is because if we don't get past this, we'll quarrel for the same reason in the future.. If we get past this, we'll be stronger.. But it all depends... To give up or not, your choice now.. So what if I said hurting words? Does that mean you have to give up? Why are you so weak? how are you gonna defend for me or protect me in the future? Can I rely on you in the future? If you can't even withstand such torment, in life, there will be more to come that will break you down, trust me.. This is small matter, a small ordeal for you to face in life.. I really hope we can get past this..

You may be wondering why am I still so stubborn not to forgive you and such..
one simple reason, I'm still angry and hurt..
remember the first day when we're together, what did I told you?
I HATE people who mentioned about my past..
You had too many chances and I forgave you too easily in the past..
I shouldn't give you such privilege, letting you take me for granted without you noticing yourself...

2011-07-25T01:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your effort and initiative but those food won't make me recover any quicker.. School is reopening soon, I must get well before the 28th.. :)
Thanks for the herbal tea and the porridge especially..
If only by separating then you'll know how to cherish me, I rather we get separated for a long time..
No more hints for now.. we'll see as time goes by..
maybe a week, maybe a month.. I still can't accept the fact that you're still being bothered by my past..

2011-07-24T09:32:00.001-07:00

我生病了，谁知道？你多久没关心我了？你有没有主动为我做过一件事？你什么时候才肯为我想一想？想什么都好，至少我知道你的心里有我，我就很开心了。

2011-07-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

You just don't get it..at all.. Till now, you still don't get it.. You always look things in another way, thinking too much till you get yourself angry and upset.. You had such little confident that you had to vent your stress on me.. Now, it's not my problem anymore.. You had your chance but you didn't cherish it.. I'm so faithful to you, never giving up on you till the day you decided to give up on yourself.. I thought we could go on together till we're old.. I guess it's still too early to say.. Maybe.. Maybe.. Show me what you've got and we can still be together again.. Show me that you're strong, make me know that I can rely on you for the rest of my life..

Hao Xin Fen Shou

2011-07-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

This is the song that we heard at the shop near your house..
I do love you but I can't forgive you this time..
You had your chance..

2011-06-23T03:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know what we've became..
I guess it's time to let go..
I'm nothing to you after all..

2011-06-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Maybe... You just forgotten how to love me..
Maybe... I'm no longer important to you..
Maybe... I'm not the one..anymore...

2011-06-22T10:39:00.001-07:00

Maybe... You just forgotten how to appreciate me..

2011-06-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

Feeling so miserable now...

2011-05-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

How fucked up can you get? it's you, not this world..
firstly, i never do anything unfaithful to you before and i never lied before..
secondly, i have male friends on fb, accept the fact.
thirdly, showing attitude doesnt help solving this fucked up shitty problem.
forthly, by bringing up my past will only make me detest you.
fifthly, i never ever hurt you by bringing up your past.
sixthly, what the fuck is wrong by just asking a guy "who are you" ?
seventhly, i know your contributions. why do all these then rant how poor thing you are? i'm not torturing you or such.. i have EYES to see. you don't have to boast..
Lastly,your brain fucked up man.. seriously FUCKED UP.

FB is tearing us apart.. don't ever fucking ask me why i deactivated it.. you want to know why? it's because of you. you gladly can't tolerate guys talking to me.. then i'll stop it! fucking childish.. chao chee bye.. this relationship i see no hope already.. you treating me like this cuz i merely asked a guy who the fuck is he? if next time i sit beside one unknown guy, are you gonna accuse me using my past?

i rather play neopets now than tolerating your shitty attitude problem.. reflect on yourself dude..

oh ya.. do you know what i hate most?
not insects or whatever shit.. is people who bring my past up to say..
how many times you did it and i forgave you?
what you expect from me seriously?

2011-05-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

If only you're here...
I'll still stay strong, so you'll know that you can rely on me in the future.. :)
I can face this alone.

2011-05-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

My brown paint looks like nutella... seriously...
Hungry... painting my rushmore~ haha! seriously, nice from the far, rubbish when you look closer.. should I be proud?
Having backache again.. lao mao bing..
ahhhhhh.. if only someone is here to massage my back LOL!
I want to go avril's concert... i like her alot! :(
where to find $350?!
sigh~
Dear is treating me pretty well these days..
Hope everyday is like that...
Craving for milk tea.. T_T
Why bukit panjang no KOI huh??!
Super tired.. shouldn't even procrastinate..
Now i take 1 hour to paint 1 face for my rushmore..
how long will i take to paint finish the entire painting lehhs?

- - -

Can't believe I'm a primary school teacher! :)
Lil kids ah... super cute! ^^
I'm moving towards my goal alrdy! =D
Thought of starting a family 3 years later..
so many friends of mine got family already..
Kindda envy them..
I know I should wait like 6 years or so but...
I really love kids! =)
Deactivated my facebook account cuz it's really eating my time away..
At least i got the spare time to blog okay! ^^
once i touch facebook, quarter of a day is gone~ LOL!

- - -
TIRED AH........
Worried about my cousin, sister, brother and parents..
For my cousin, something terrible happened to his family...
don't know how to tell him...
it's something so unacceptable for every child..
However, I'm sure that he is mature enough to accept this..

For my sister, sigh... same usual thing..
wonder when is she gonna change her attitude..
is she ever change her attitude, she'll be like the most angelic person I've ever met.... LOL! Dream on!
Hope she'll change sooner or later..

For my brother, PSLE coming already still play CS everyday..
If only he is sensible enough...

For my parents ah...
I think my father can't provide for the family already..
seriously, if moving house solves everything, I don't mind moving even to malaysia.. -.-
Seeing him worried about money everyday, makes me worried too..
I want to graduate and help my father support the family asap!
Though I know my father doesnt like me, I'll still be his filial daughter..
Guiding his favourite son to success..

For my mum, I only worry her not eating enough everyday..
she is skinnier than me.. :(
if it's because of money that's why she don't want to eat, i rather not eat and let her have my share..
- - -
Okay.. back to painting!

Dear Avril~ Please come back to singapore another day will you?
I'll have enough money to buy your tickets by then.. =(

2011-05-05T06:17:00.001-07:00

STRESS WITH MY FINALS! :(

2011-05-03T03:44:00.001-07:00

I'll be strong, I won't cry anymore..
I'll be independent, I will make my own decisions..

2011-04-16T01:32:00.001-07:00

Numb already..
Feelings are fading faster that i've thought..
He taught me to love him lesser so that we'll not have any "implications" in the future..
He didn't know he was wrong to ask me to be less stickier..
He don't have time for me, as usual..
Me neither..
But no matter how busy I am, I would really love to see him and have him by my side..
Hes not mine entirely.. Not putting blames on anyone or anything..
We're like getting further and further each time we quarrel..
and everytime we quarrel, it makes me want to give up on this relationship..

Surprisingly, I didn't eat ice cubes for many days already and I just noticed today..
cuz only when I see him, I'll get to eat.. Sometimes I don't though..
Who and why am I changing for?
I bet he didn't know that I'm still as faithful to him when I'm outside..
Planned alot for my future already but sometimes I would still question myself if hes the one..
Till now, I'm still unsure..

Right now... I can't be bothered with anything already..
what future, what career, what relationships...
I'll just have to put all of them aside..
No one cares about my decision anyway..
Feel like giving up...
I bet that he'll sprinkle more salt on my wound when he sees this..
And when he does, it's time to make a decision...

2011-04-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

it's been soooo long since i updated my blog..
Things hasnt been going smoothly for me and him..
Our world, originally consist of only the 2 of us..
Slowly, involves siblings... then parents..
what's next? money issue? that's possible too..

Too many things for us to handle, too many things for us to face..
"Adult" is just a name or status for people who is 21 and above..
What about their mindset?
Thinking that they're an adult, they have full control of every shit..
and when things goes wrong, who are the ones to blame?

I'm lucky to have support from parents.. but not their love..
It's obvious that parents are sometimes bias but they deny it no matter what..
Thinking that they give birth to their children to "help them"..
Slavery you mean uh?
to make it sound nicer, it's helping unconditionally..

If only he knows what i'm thinking..
this relationship has so many scars..
trying to mend them slowly..
but before i even start mending them, another wound appears..
His feelings for me has faded..
it's easy to tell, compared to the first day till now...
it's really a drastic change..
I cannot put the blame entirely on him, same goes with him..

I'm trying to be more understanding but things keeps stopping me...
I'm trying to change my attitude yet more problems keep coming in..
We don't understand each other already.. we're drifting apart..
he thinks his results affects only he and himself..
i got the same score as him, I don't see myself whining and putting blame on every shit I see..
Being overly-confident is a freakin' bad idea..
it's like people making empty promises to you..
you think you're gonna get it, when you actually don't, you're gonna get very upset..

Thinking of quitting school several times already..
but if I quit school, I'll be letting alot of people down and there is no place I could go..
I can only strive harder and harder..

...
I really want a couple pencil box..
wallet..
handphone pouch....
and...
....something...
Well.. gotta stop asking for more...

2010-12-25T15:10:00.001-08:00

Dear dear~ I love it when you SMILE~ I love it when you HOLD MY HANDS! I love it when you ADDRESS ME AS YOUR WIFE! ♥ I love it when you PAMPER MEEEE~ I love it when we eat breakfast together~ I love spending time with you~ I love it when you HUG ME! I love talking to you on the phone~ I love it when you make me smile everyday WITHOUT ...FAIL! =D I like dripping EyeMo for you when your eyes are feeling irritating~ I love and appreciate that you carried me home from a very far place just cause I had blisters on my feet! I like it when you sweat so I'll have the chance to wipe them off from you~ I love it when you tell me how much you love me! I love those sweet talks from you, knowing that you really mean it~ ♥ And I'll know 10 years later down the road, we'll still be as sweet and loving! ♥ I love you!

I WANT TO LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS HOW GOOD YOU ARE TO ME, LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS THAT YOU'RE THE BEST! =D

2010-11-30T05:14:00.000-08:00

You are - Laura Pausini

Used to be afraid of love
used to be alone
never thought I'd find
someone to lean upon.

But like a blessing from above
you came into my life
when my faith was gone
somehow you found me.

You took my hand when I was lost
embraced me with your love
in yours arms is where I belong.

CHORUS
You are my shelter
my tears and laughter
the sunlight and the wind
you are my angel
you are the joy that love can bring.

Love will grow and take us high
love has just begun
and I do believe
nothing can bring us down.

And I can see it in your eyes
the flame will never fade
'cause in my heart I know
to be there beside you
to hold you when you're down and out
embrace you with my love
'cause in my heart is where you belong

CHORUS

You are my one and only
you are my everything
your endless love surrounds me
you are the joy that love can bring
yes you are.

You are my shelter
my tears and laughter
Baby, baby, baby you're the wind
You are my angel
you are the joy that love can bring
Your love surrounds me
Baby don't you know you are my everything
You are my angel
you are the joy that love can bring
you are my angel,
yes you are.

My last words before I turn 18...

2010-10-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well.. I know that time cannot be reversed...
At least I can still wear the shirt that I was wearing 4 years ago...
...... I DON'T WANT TO GROW OLD.
When I just turned 17, I like to tell everyone that i'm 18...
Now when I'm near 18, I like to tell everyone that i'm still 17.....
....Just 2 more days, I'll be an old hag!
At least I don't have to worry that I'm old and nobody wants me.. LOL!
18.... after 18 I'll be 19.. AFTER 19 I'LL BE FREAKIN TWENTY! =.=
*Screams and runs frantically around the house*

---

I planned my future already..
Even thought of what name to give my child, what CCA should my child be in..
I'll give my child bird's nest twice every month, sharkfin soup twice every year, minimum shopping 12 times per year, branded clothing when they're born, personal doctor for each of them, a maid for all my child, another maid for the house, must participate at least 1 sport, must learn at least 1 instrument, must learn swimming, must be fluent in english, chinese and hokkien, must learn 1 more language/dialect, grades must be constant or else tuition comes in, sec 1 then start letting them use the internet (unless they need internet for school work), bring them to places like science center, botanic garden, zoo and bird parks etc once per year..... so many more.....

---

Well, I'm so happy when I'm with Kevin...
At least now I've finally found someone suitable that I want to settle down with..
I have that feeling that hes the one...
The guy that I can spend my life time with, the guy whom I can trust with my life..
I just enjoy being with him..
I enjoy holding his hands even though it sweats always....
I love it when he would randomly tell people on the streets that i'm his gf while pointing at me..
I love it when he randomly tells me that he loves me, even when i'm eating, he would randomly say "I love you".
I like it when he hugs me so tightly!
I like the fatherly side of him.
I like it when he wears tight fit, showing off his muscle! haha!!
I also like it when i'm leaving his house, his siblings would hug me so tightly, telling me not to leave!
I like it when his parents smile at me, accepting me so readily... :)
gahh~ I've found the right guy! =D
So many more things that I like about him....
nothing i dislike about him! XD
There is no need for a change already since he is so perfect!

---

Well for NAFA...
I achieved my goal/aim, not getting any more grade C for my drawing!
for the entire semester, I only got 1 grade C!
one of my drawing actually got a grade A and i'm the only one who got an A in the class!
so proud of myself! one time is enough to keep me motivated already..!
My painting didn't get anymore grade C either! =D
All are As and Bs..!

Time to be serious Cherry.......
You're turning 18! +_+

2010-10-10T05:37:00.000-07:00

The stupid canopic jar thingy....
pek chek .. =.=
History....
HISTORY ..
.... Headache..
Whenever I see WORDY TEXT, I'll fall asleep..
that's the reason why i dropped Geography, Social Studies and History when I was in secondary school..
Now in NAFA, I need to study History also..
damn sian .....

Can't wait to go Year 2 and 3..
Year 1 = Throw everything to you. (You get to learn EVERYTHING!) ... It's not fun ..... at all =.=
Year 2 = Concentrate more on my major along with some other small modules.. :)
Year 3 = ONLY STUDY MAJOR AND NO MORE! =D

Relationship probs, don't care already....
Wait till I get my degree then say luhh..
GPA 3 is like WHHHHAT???!
I wanted a GPA 3.9 ..
Seriously, I've been in this school for several months already..
I realised something......
I can spend hours and hours just to finish an assignment or drawing..
End up I got a grade "C" ..
Those last minute work, I got an "A" ....
No kidding man.. that really happened to me..
Then those I draw for the sake of drawing de, I got a "B" ..
Fair enough..@_@

Year 2 learning Oil painting! I CANT WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!!!!
*Inserts heart* =D

2010-10-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

Want to do all my projects.....
I'm lazy.. Didn't know why..
was like so motivated..
but then.. I don' know...
maybe neopets and facebook was a distraction..
I should freeze my neopets account and deactivate my facebook account uh..
yeh ... i'll think again...
maybe just throw my phone away - another distraction...
computer also..
throw away?
=.=
siblings also..
put them to orphanage?
-.- crazy..

Anyway .. NAFA Fun day wasn't really THAT fun afterall...
No hunks... sheeeesh... only got 1 very muscular lecturer.. *_*
*pokes arm* LOL I REALLY DID THAT ON THAT DAY.
SUN BURN AH! TORTURING ME .
=.=
28 more days and i'll be an OLD HAG~
Can't wait man....

yesterday is the 1st of october......
today is the 2nd...
tomorrow is....*ahem....*

I'm broke man ..
seriously...
*sad*

Wants to go to the temple~
sigh...

MY BIRTHDAY WISHLIST
I WISH I'LL HAVE A SENNHEISER HEADPHONE ON MY BIRTHDAY
SO I DON'T HAVE TO BUY LOL!
I WISH THAT I'LL HAVE A 90% DARK CHOCOLATE
BAR ON MY BIRTHDAY
I WISH THAT I'LL HAVE 10 BIG BOTTLES OF VODKA OF ALL
FLAVOURS
I WISH THAT I'LL GET TO DRINK KOI BUBBLE TEA ON MY
BIRTHDAY.
I WISH THAT I'LL GET A TOTAL OF $1888 WORTH OF ANG PAOS
DURING MY BIRTHDAY.
I WISH THAT THE ENTIRE FULLERTON HOTEL IS MINE SO THAT
I CAN MAKE CHOCOLATE BUFFET AVILABLE 24/7 .
I WISH THAT HE* WILL WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I WISH THAT LZMX WOULD APPEAR IN MY DREAM CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME.. Even if it's just for a minute....

Well.. I just want that last wish..

2010-09-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

Projects piling up..
Shouldn't spent my weekends sleeping 48 hour..
well.. actually not that much.. that'll be crazy uh? -.-

Sick for 5 days straight okay! fucking irritating....
Talk halfway my voice can disappear de.. nice one lah... -.-
I'm feeling sooooooooooooo... Upset...?

I just need you here.. I won't tell you..
I won't let you know.. I want you to feel it..
I won't give up on you, I won't let you go..

I'm upset these few days..
It's cuz of you..
yes you. *Points finger*

Am I important to you?
Love me? Yes? Then don't make me upset..

HAHAHA cannot imagine Lam's face now.. @_@

I love supper...
I'm hungry...
You know what I mean..
Double feelay ohh feesh is nice~
You're like so far away... or should I say it's pretty "near" uh ?
Can't see you..

oh damn .. I fell asleep while typing...
cannot imagine how tired I am uh?
Maybe this is what you want to see...
I'm "busy" ... Horribly "busy"..
... okok. better be serious... i slept again.. =.=
My 2 packets of Indomee isn't enough!
Waiting~ waiting~ waiting~
Maybe if one day you buy mac breakfast early in the morning for me, i'll be like "OH MY CHICKEN?!"
I'm not demanding, am I?
hohoho~

... OKAY IT'S 4AM NOW.
BUYING MAC BREAKFAST FOR ME, MY LOVE?
..... sigh!

2010-09-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

I can still remember that day when i put this song into KW's computer secretly.. LOL!
My favourite song~~~

Anyway.. I'm sick already! having a bad bad cough as well as sore throat..
FEELIN SO HORRIBLE LEHHS~
Waking up at 6am later to go bedok! :)
Can't wait to see my grandparents!
Maybe can even go find Xu Leng!! :)
But I sick lehhs.. dun wanna pass my disease to my loved ones..
ahem..... i dunch huan tu pass tu EU!
LOL! -.-

Tio ignore again...
Really don't know what I did lehhs.

anyway...
dreamt that KW asked me why so long never go his house visit..
lols..........
5 years and counting! :)

2010-09-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

Fun day uh...
but you're still ignoring me.....
i didn't do something wrong did i?

2010-09-19T01:32:00.000-07:00

Are looks really thaaaaaaaat important ?
oh well... Anyway, TMR is my brother's birthday!
Happy Birthday To My Dearest Brother! *Inserts 25 hearts*
I thought he was 35 years old....
but when i used the calculator to count, hes only 25 years old.. LOL!
His birthday is the same as Namie Amuro! SO JEALOUS CANN!!!
I WANT TO GO OUT CELEBRATE BIRTHDAY WITH MY BROTHER BUT I'M NOT 18 YET!!!
later they go club, i stay outside wait meh ... =.=
anyway ....
when i'm 18, i sure buy my first TOTO,4D and alcohol...
Sian ... planned to finish all my proj by Friday....
Now it's sunday already!!!!
....
Anyway...

WHY EU IGNORE ME LEHHS?! :(
sigh....

2010-09-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Feeling hungry... and tired..
ALRIGHT! TIME TO DO MY PROJECTS!
I want to eat supper with sotong..
Walao everytime so early sleep.... :(
Let me hungry lor? win liao lor? XD
LUCAS CHAN THIM LUM made me waited for him in school for 2 hours....
win liao lor ? =.=
SHEESH~ I'm not feeling well these few days leh....
gotta see doctor..
Jezemine bought me this facial scrub for my b'day present!
FOURTY BUCKS LEH! STUPID ANG MOH PROMOTER!
hehh . but i tried the product and i like it alot! XD
yayy ~ 45 more days man!
I'LL BE 18 AND I'LL HAVE MY FIRST TATTOO OKAYY!!!
what should I put huh ..? mhmm~~

2010-09-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like goin home everyday.. Things are getting worse each day..
If only that mistake didn't happen.. If only my parents knows what I'm thinking..
It wasn't necessary to bring up the past to hurt me.. It wasn't necessary to tell my siblings it's because of me, they can't do certain things..
These few days, so many people scolded me.. Some with reasons, some with none..
It's my life dude.. You claimed that I'm becoming like my sister.. In what way? Just because of 1 matter, you actually compared me with my sister?
Think again... Seriously...
You like to bring up my past to hurt me, then don't blame yourself in the future if I were to end my life anytime without you guys knowing..
Your 1 word can make an impact on me.. Don't be surprised if you were to find me in a counselling room feeling fucking depressed..
I've been there before... Cause of what you said to me..
You made the whole world think that I'm in the fault so everyone would blame me.. Does that really satisfy you?
I told you guys not to bring up my past already..... Don't be sad if you to find me dead in my room due to overdose of drugs and medicines..
Seriously, this is the last chance I'm giving you, parents.. Bring up my past again, I cannot guarantee you anything.. I'm not threatening you guys, nor I'm scaring you guys..
Dear parents, you made me lost the will to live in this world..
Why did things have to turn out like that?

2010-08-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

I feel like crying.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. I want to cry.. Why..?? WHY?!?

2010-08-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

okay. fuck.
my painting didn't get top..
it's okay..I'll try again..
i'm just pissed off with people telling me that it's okay not to get top..
yeah, i know it's okay.. i'll just try again right?
the problem is i have high expectations.. what else?
i am angry because people thought that i'm unhappy about not getting top..
seriously, i don't really care. what bothers me is my high expectations are driving me crazy.. why?
because.. "The school don't need 1000 artists. they just need 10."
this phrase made me want to work harder..
--------

okay.. unhappy 2nd year anniversary hubby..
you're happy, i'm not.
I really hope you like that painting I gave it to you, it's the only thing i'm good at.
and also thanks for giving me some fucked up attitude. that's the only thing you're good at.

it's our 2nd anniversary..
it comes ONCE per year.
what did you prepared?
NOTHING BUT SOME FUCKING ATTITUDE.
I thought giving you a painting was pathetic enough as a present.
what about you?
it's okay really..
i forgave you and gave you another option, to cook fried rice for me since you said you only knew how to cook fried rice..
I guided you and you gave me fucked up attitude.
you even shouted "you want eat jiu eat la don't want then forget it."
what the fuck is that?
that left me crying alone in his room..
he cooked finished and he came back from the kitchen with a big bowl of fried rice..
he put it on his table and started eating by himself even after he saw me crying on his bed..

I cried even more of cuz.. after he ate several mouthful of fried rice, he asked me to eat..
i ignored him of cuz.. then he said i was treating him like invisible..
who the fuck is treating who invisible?
your fried rice is so fucking important that even you saw me crying you continued eating?
you cook your fried rice until so unhappy then dont cook lor?
just tell me you don't want to cook.. don't give me those face while cooking..
and giving me lan jia0 excuses that you are not unhappy at all?
if you're not unhappy, you will give me lan jia0 excuses while i'm guiding you how to cook ah?
you said you knew how to cook. end up you don't even know.. SO I TAUGHT YOU.
you fucking gave me attitude?

what am i?
am i forcing you to cook or what?
wait.. do you even love me in the first place?
you didn't even give or prepare anything for me on our 2nd year anniversary.
you take this day for granted uh?
you want to go to ikea so badly that you're not taking any initiative to ask me out.
i really can tell how "badly" you want to celebrate our anniversary uh..

2nd year dude.. not 2nd month..
what am i...? WHAT THE FUCK AM I?!

2010-08-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

FUCKING S.L.U.T .

Thought I could fucking take a fucking rest after so much fucking projects i fucking did..
end up that guy did this to me?!
so what if it's trival?

I DON'T FUCKING CARE MAN .

You enjoy it so much right?
After i told you SO MANY FUCKING TIMES THAT I HATE THAT S.L.U.T , YOU STILL GO FUCKING LIKED HER FUCKING SHYT?!
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

you don't regret dude..
You started this..
no problem.. no problem...

it's not that i didn't tell you that i hate THAT SLUT.
it's not that i didn't tell you that i don't want you to have anything to do with THAT SLUT.

since you chose to do it even though you knew something will happen, i won't forgive you then..
what am i to you?
why for these few months, you've been treating me like some piece of shit?
you weren't like this in the past..
don't tell me that i think too much whatsoever..
I CAN TELL.
seriously, we need to talk..

2010-08-01T09:14:00.001-07:00

Well.. I'm suppose to do my project at this hour but instead, i felt like blogging!
.... i have around 4 projects at week 2?
i have to complete ALL of them within a week..
I got motivated by my close ones..
he said "You got what you want right? Do your best."
my aunt said "This is your choice, I'll earn more money to support you!"
my bf said "Everyone is supporting you, you shouldnt procrastinate."

i'm so touched la.. T_T
I told myself that i will be the top five =P
I will work doubly hard.
not to disappoint any of my close ones.
I came to Nafa with a goal; I'll get my BA (hons) degree after 4 years. I'll be an art teacher after 4 years!
It's easy to say...
I'm already facing difficulties..

My biggest and only distraction is my hubby..
I don't want to be unfair to him by ignoring him for the entire weekday and only talk to him during the weekends.
you see, I've got projects piling up.. I cant sms him, chat on the phone with him until midnight.. I may not have the time to celebrate our 2nd year anniversary..
it's just week 2.. i'm like soooo upset...

....I know i can cope. i'm trying to divide my time equally so that i wont neglect him and my studies. it's so hard.. :(

2010-06-13T03:17:00.000-07:00

Today MFO got event..
For hubby and my sake, I specially woke up at 9.30A.M to prepare for the event..
The event is about getting free items if you online for 7 hours straight..
The stupid Internet kept dc me, the timer also keep resetting..
Super pek chek.. Nevermind..

I kept feeding his pet but mine never because he is pretty upset about my pet's growth point higher than him..
I fed his pet only so he can catch up my points! :)

Got a buyer wants to buy gold (game currency) from me..
As my friend sold successfully to that guy before, I agreed to sell him gold..
Shun bian can earn real cash so when hubby and me go out that time don't need share one plate of chicken rice...

However, I got scammed.. Lol it's only $10 so Im not very upset about it..
What makes me sad is hubby scolded me instead of consoling me..
Right now he is still showing me attitude.. He didn't even say "thank you" when I helped him online his account so we can get prizes together..
It's not like I'm feeling not feeling bad..
My money of course I'll feel somewhat bad even though it's just $10..
He said "sell first time only got scam liao.." then he shakes his head..
My money I no feeling de meh?
He contributed like 5 gold(50cents) only.. Reaction need so jialat anot?
I said nevermind already he stil keep saying..

I know la.. I'm stupid.. Game related things I don't care.. I don't give a shit.. But what's with him? Wanted to paint him a red rose for our 22nd anniversary tomorrow but.. ... Wanted to give him a surprise but I guess he don't deserve it afterall.... He likes roses alot.. Actually I'll be buying the canvas tomorrow.. I guess I don't need it now... Why should I care about his feelings when he didn't cared for mine?

2010-06-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

Don't ever fucking give me some fucked up attitude cuz i don't give a shit bout it..
Game goes wrong = fucked up attitude ?

Running away from problems are what you are good at.
You don't even realise the way you talk to me..

Am I looking for trouble?
Or is there something wrong but you just can't accept it?

And why the fuck should I plan things to do together when you treating me like shit ?
Presents? Drawings? Paintings? Forget it man.. Seriously...

After giving me some shitty attitude you are telling me you rather sleep than resolving that fucking problem?
Why the hell am I feeling so horrible?
Are you trying to tell me that I deserve this?

2010-05-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Happy 21st month Bi~

Sorry for hanging up the phone..
I'm feeling very horrible......

I want to go out happily, just the both of us...
not worrying bout me getting a job...
job can wait... we only have ONE 21st anniversary...
don't want anything to disturb us.......

please understand...

-----
NAFA....... A very difficult and tough journey.....
practically turning my world upside down...
will....not...give up.......
but stress uh!!! -_-
I bet my father stll cant find 1.2k for my 2nd semester school fees, which is due on 27May..
road isn't that smooth afterall...
-----

I think i better go sleep soon.. I don't want my face to look like a panda at wedding... =.=
i want to eat FEE-LAY-OHH-FEESH~
and shih lin.....
and drink that milktea at clarke quay~
of cuz... BANGKIT BUBBLE TEA! NAI CHA DOUBLE PEARL~

2010-04-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

everything is fine... so fine until i couldn't find any flaws..

..... if only life is so perfect every time..

jobless again... couldn't be bothered...

Need to pay 1.2k for my 2nd semester school fees....

where to get that huge sum of money uh ?

i work part time only get that $320.. used $300 in 3 weeks..

quited that job after a month..

so now..... i'm left with $20 in my bank...

applied for a debit card immediately after i got my pay, thought i could buy millions of apps for my ipod....

now uh....... card just come only, my bank left $20...

save that last $20... incase i'm missing and need money for taxi lor.....

... that $300.. you know what i spend on?

PURELY FOOD!

and now i regret......

waa.. see this one nice to eat, use nets...

see this one very long never eat, also use nets.....

nets... very useful yet dangerous uh.....

drained my 1 month salary....

-_- my dad even asked me why my money spend so fast....

wapiang i work 1 month, not 1 year leh..

they also stopped giving me pocket money....... i have to survive by staying at home...

DIE ALSO WONT SPEND MY $20! =.=

how????????????

my camera for year 1 haven buy, my laptop for year 1 also haven buy...

study until so pek chek.. :(

i dun wanna quit..... i want to study...

i hope this time my aunt will help me!

so when i start to work that time, can return her!

but uh.. study till when?

they also can help until where...?

intended to get my master but.. i think i take my degree first then say.. -.-

i can do it, but can my parents support me all the way ?

higher qualifications EQUALS more money...

long term investment uh....

well.. missed the times....

when we are together, doing things that we love...

2010-03-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

jobless now.. really don't bother to find anymore because i want to pei hubby until he school reopen... but.. no job = no money! sigh.....

feel like drinking starbucks coffee soooooo much!

waiting for hubby to bring me go~ lol

2010-03-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

Work is fine.. everything is fine except for some necessary problems..
urghh... anyway... TO THAT LADY , just leave my boy alone and go * yourself.. Look, I don't care if you're just bored or wanna find someone to chat with whatsoever, just * off will you? You are *ing irritating me. Get it? Pester him for *?! I may be ridiculous or unreasonable whatsoever, I DON'T GIVE A *. =.= I would LOVE to chat with you some day.. Lan jia0 face.. _l_

Today i saw a jewish boy in taka when i was working....
okay.. not bad.. nothing special... =.=

i'm tired these few days~~ WORK WORK AND WORK!
then my work place, got this char bor kept staring at hubby. ta ma de.
buay tahan.. pssh..

2010-03-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

Happy 19th months 1 day with hubby lol yeah we continued counting....*HAPPY!*

right now i'm feeling super hungry and my sister dun want to cook for me.. :(
I'm craving for LJS, mos burger de Ebi Rice Burger, baked rice, takoyaki, yakisoba and sushi!!!
.... the more i say, the hungrier i get..... horrible feeling....
BTW BAD NEWS BAD NEWS! I'm fatter everywhere already!!! ESPECIALLY MY LEG THERE!!
well.... i'm suppose to be happy but..... i'm sad instead.. -_-
i thought i can wear the smallest size shirt forever, now, different le loh!
I finally bought my Topshop de tanktop but........
not size 6(smallest) anymore.... it's size 8 NOW!!!!! (there's no 7..*sigh*)
......i fat already.. :(
shouldnt eat LJS 3~5 times a week lor.... sian die me..
now i'm poor liao..... :(

I NEED A JOB.......
Went to Actioncity, Puma, Bossini, Levis and many places......... Despo for money already -.-
i went shopping with hubby, realised that my laptop+camera = MORE THAN $3000 ... -_-
WHERE TO FIND THE MONEY HUH?!?!
-_- seriously, if theres no $5/hr job for me, I CAN FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING -_-
sigh.... now i no money to even top up my ezlink card......

OH YEEEEAH... i bought this anklet with hubby , it's red and black colour de!
so nice can!! HAHAHA *HAPPY!*

I want to go to Art galleries/museums...... long time nv go le..
hu want bring me go uhh?!

2010-02-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

Play Dj Max with earpiece = SHIOK.....
HAHAHA THEIR WEIRD WEIRD VOCALS~ SO CLEAR NOW! XD

however, hubby's earpiece is better than mine.. -.- that 1 cannot deny man~~

i need a new earpiece... maybe? planning to buy the earpiece from Apple........ you know...
$40+.. -_-

mummy kept telling me to find a job.... :(
so..... I DECIDED.... to not continue to search for those teaching-related de job...
it's only 4months...cherry.. just bear with it. i know you can rite? XD
i seriously need money for my school fees!!

dad and mum doesnt have enough....
so... i cant splurge using my salary.... :(

you know... when i got money ah..... i shopping ah... very scary de wor......
NO MONEY SHOP WHAT??! not even enough for my school fees already.. kns.. -.-

many ppl say NAFA is for rich people go de school......
How true..! -_-
im not rich..... so... i'm like the 'extra' you know... :(
dad say bank de interest too expensive ler..... so..
hes not gonna lend from the bank! hes gonna lend from his friends instead!
how sweet! it's $9000 you know... -.-
...... .... a very large sum of money.... you know.. -.-

I SAW 1 TANK TOP FROM TOPSHOP!!!!! I WANT!!! IT'S $19 ONLY!!!!!
wait......... nvm...
i don't even have enough for MRT already.. and i'm serious.... -.-

sigh..... I miss my hubby~~~ you know......
we know~ everyone knows! -.- lol
till now he haven't finish the cookies i made for him....
i think it's not nice thats why he don't want to finish it?
or maybe it's because of his tongue piercing?
or maybe he wants to keep it as momento?
OR MAYBE.... ... .... i don't know...
ice... i need ice.. oh gosh.. the craving for ice comes again!!
i'm trying to quit already! :(
though many ppl say eat ice not good.. bad for teeth.. but... craving mah...
they don't understand!! :(
.... PSP BATTERY FLAT ALREADY. SIANDIEME
walao.... HAMSIN x7 already..... laidat treat me.. -_-

i want to change blogskin... but...... i duno why..

gahhhhhhhhh~ I'm hungry.. i want mac breakfast....
Bi i wait for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't know why.. suddenly... i like those super heavy de music~
blast into my ear = shiok = deaf faster...
ahhhhhhh.. my lips de ulcer just gone... my tongue got 1 coming out.. :(

sigh..... i go sleep ler............... yes.. sleep..
i'm gonna look for a job tomorrow! ...
i'm lazy............... okay... .. i'll go... to Beacon Primary first....
then go to the nearby childcare center ask for vacancy~ XD
WISH ME LUCK! LOL

2010-02-21T13:15:00.000-08:00

I GOT INTO NAFA!
TIME FOR CREDITS!

1st must thank sotong for letting me know clearer of what i want~ hahaha~ if not i also won't choose to go NAFA...
2nd must thanks my parents for allowing me to go NAFA~ hohoho~
3rd must thank Bi♥ for supporting me and helping me on my NAFA thingy~ heeeheeeheee~
4th must thanks all my friends including Mr.Gan for supporting me also! lolololololol~~~
5th must thank the marker who marked my paper~ hahahaa~

okay~ enuf of NAFA NAFA NAFA.. i see le also quite annoyed liao... -_-

okay.. time to plan....... hmmmm........
1st settle my........studies thingy... LOL
then...go look for a job....
OH I ALREADY PLANNED A SHOPPING LIST!

Camera for year 1 - $1000+
Laptop - $1000+
Art Materials - $500+ (1 year)
New Clothes - $500+
Bi's iTouch - $300
Transport - $1000+ (1 year)
Food - uh.............

For the food, i cant calculate.. -_-
i cannot assure you that i won't be eating pizza/pasta/baked rice/sushi/subway/macdonald's/kfc/junk food everyday...
oh well... i'm hungry already!

:) Oh well...

----

Went shopping with Jezemine and Candy today at Bugis!
MUAHAHAHA! the neoprint is not very nice, so ............ :(
sob...
Ate PastaMania and i'm like broke already...
why?
because i bought something that Bi needs...
HOHOHO worth the money or not, i don't know..
tmr we'll see! :)

YUMMY~

2010-02-18T11:02:00.000-08:00

Cooked porridge for Bi today .
HAAH! I'm glad that he likes it!
at first , i thought he like.. no reaction laidat... =x
then just now , he went to post on fb about how he was feeling....
i'm so touched!
but what really makes me happy is, i was given a chance to take care of him again..
things are gonna be a little bit different now, but i believe we can overcome everything together.
i don't care what other people say about me or think about me ..
what's important is in the end, he is the one who will be with me...

.. 2 more weeks! TWO MORE WEEKS!

uh .... not tired........ too happy..to sleep... *SMILE*

2010-02-17T09:39:00.000-08:00

AFTER 17 YEARS, I FINALLY GOT A PIC OF ME AND KOR KOR ALREADY!
Super love this pic..........

---

(Above) Jealous bah ? XD

(Above) MY FRIDGE DE FREEZERRRR! *I can see Toblerone and onion rings!*

(Above) YUMMMY~~~~~~ FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD~

(Above) SEE! Heart shaped prawn cracker! CUTE RIGHT!!

--------

SUPER HAPPY TODAY~~~~~~~~
Bi went to pierce his tongue, now hes like suffering! :(
I see le also dun dare pierce ler.. =X
hohoo! i'm so tired.. so tired... hahaha!

I li jia chu zou ytd, went to Bi's house.....
-.-
less than 24 hour... not counted at all de lor -.-
drank the maximator... 1 can only high liao -.-
SO LOUSY! -_-

.......

Time will tell, I'm sure it will..

2010-02-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

Happy new year and happy valentine's day everyone! :)

Will publish many pictures a few days later.. i lazy upload now. .XD

2010-02-12T01:56:00.000-08:00

ALRIGHT!

Firstly, thank you Kun Jing for helping me to find the recipe
Secondly, thank you Kun Jing's parents for allowing me to bake at their house at 12am..
Thirdly, thank you Kun Jing again for lending me her entire kitchen... LOL
Lastly, thank you Bi's mummy for opening the door for me.... haha!!

okay....i went shopping ALONE...... -.-
went to 7 places to look for a baking soda... how pathetic -_-
then went to Clark Quay to buy 1 bottle of sweet from STICKY! XD
okay, heng i got my ipod... lol
nearly got lost though... -_-

then went to Kun Jing's house to bake cookies!
baked for around 4 hours straight... -_-
so, NO TIME TO EAT AT ALL! ate my first cookie as dinner luh..

the first cookie i made, was 4cm thick.. -_-
i see already also sian diao..
nvm luh.

made several cookies for bi.. realised that the container was too small..
SO I ATE QUITE ALOT OF COOKIES! AHHA!
yummy okay!!
didn't want to make the cookies so sweet because late Bi eat liao will got alot of phlegm.. :(
if it's too sweet, he eat 2 or 3 only will get tired of it de..
so...... CLEVER HOR? HAHA!

then.. after that i reached his house outside at ard 4am..
waited for his mother to open the door...... until 6+?
HAHA! shes like so happy to see me! x3333 ^^
then.. went to Bi's room... so dark... but.. the way he sleep.. haha!
so adorable HAHAHA!

reached home at 6.30am sharp.. -_-
when i was on my way to lalaland, Bi sms-ed me...
okay, i'm glad he saw the present i gave him..
and i'm glad that he likes it! ^^

worth it..... worth it....

2010-02-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

-_-"

Went to..... many places today....
lets just focus on how i feel today...

... HAPPY and .. jealous .. and sad.....

HAPPY because... you know..

jealous because...........
... stupid girl -_- nvm..

sad because....
we're acting like strangers........
i can feel like theres something in between us..
nevermind.......

1 more day..

2010-02-09T04:20:00.001-08:00

I'm being replaced already.. So easily...

needless to say, I'm feeling horrible....
Dreams are really the opposite of real life.
i was dreaming that... he would put my name...
turns out...

So easily....
really... easily...

is our love really so vulnerable?
It's been quite a while since i had a smile on my face already..

people are encouraging me to smile..
for what purpose ?

2010-02-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

i dyed my hair twice in a week..
now my hair is seriously DAMAGED..
Dry and rough.. :( planning to go for hair treatment after CNY...
now my hair touch water also will feel rough rough de.. :(
even when dry, also ROUGH! -_-
sian diao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today..I dreamt about quite alot of things...

Lets start with the first one..(Detailed)

I was alone sleeping at a room.. (It's like my future home.. LOL)
then.. i heard some one at the toilet in my room..
I thought it's a burglar...
i quickly took a knife from the kitchen then i went back to my room...
i carefully walked to the toilet........
SUDDENLY THAT GUY JUMP OUT AND WANT TO SNATCH MY RING! (my black ring...)
i quickly...... stab him.. =.=
he died.. -.-
i was so shocked then i woke up, feeling that something was on my hand..
i thought it was the knife, i threw it on the floor... =.=
PHONE SPOIL LUH.. HAPPY LIAO LOR? -.-

second dream...
ok.. i duno whether is that second because all the dreams were like..
half half de ?

okok..

i was cleaning and painting my roof for CNY then i fell down.. -.-
then next scene already.. -.-

my baby is very..fat... -_-
then Bi carry until hand tired, pass to me.. =.=
i fell on the ground.. -_-

OMG WHY ALL SO BU JI LI DE ?!?! -_-
my dream trying to tell me that something bad is gonna happen issit ? -.-

--

the 7th just pass like that..

--

anyway.. three more days...

2010-02-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

He had changed....
I guess that wall was earlier broken by somebody else....
I'm late, am I?

2010-02-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

The promise that I'd made months ago, I can still remember and...
8 more days...

---------

'Nice' hot weather today....
i simply 'love' it..

Cleaned my hamster cage.. finally after 1 week..
he is like soooo CHOU! =x
but i still love my Pudding cuz...
Pudding is the only living thing left for me.......
Pudding stood up soo straight when i put him into the water... LOL!
and now.... jane's hamster....... mummy gave up too.. =.=

anyway.... i'm super hungry now, i'm craving for more prata!!!!

2010-02-02T23:59:00.001-08:00

Today is a special day..♥

Don't feel like going out every 3rd of the month.

anyway, dyed my hair!!
used Liese de bubble thingy to dye my hair..
actually, it's not that good, the colour isnt obvious..
but very easy to dye.
the amount of hair dye, is enough for 2 people somemore.. -.-
$19.90! (i think don't buy this brand......)

----

I cannot believe i actually went to find something at 2am....
well..... i shouldn't say much about it.
it's my fault anyway..
but now i learnt to treasure things more..

sigh. inez asked me not to post sad things on my blog. lols!
yet i'm doing it again!! haha!

okay. i'm going to sleep already..........
yeah at this hour -.-

2010-02-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

Went to meet wolfie at plaza sing starbucks 2pm today.....
I didn't even sleep!
was crying....

anyway, we went straight up to the 2nd floor.......
got the urge to go to Made With Love

went in there of cuz........
feeling as horrible as yesterday, i went to search for the guy who always served us....
he is not there anymore :(
maybe he took a leave?
anyway, wanted to drink cookies and cream milkshake but i didn't cuz....
wolfie is not the one who is suppose to pei me drink......
so nevermind, we left the shop after walking around.... feeling so horrible.....
the place we used to sit......
i was staring at it of cuz...
so i didn't really pay attention to what wolfie said to me that time.. =x

after that, we went to some shops and wolfie had a burger only!
i bet hes still hungry before we parted =.=

then, we went to the very very high up place there... the duno where..
(jia lat. i never ask.... =.=)
the view there is super super nice! x3

then went to... ... omg i forgot again....
we had a super long chat there...
sigh..

Met Orange at 7pm at orchard MRT station..
He brought me go Barossa....
had fish and chips, pizza and cocktails!
super nice! x3
then pizza left 2 slices.....
ta pao come home lor... since Orange insist -.-
Orange brought me home and he went home luh!

...... super tired today!!!
leg very suan also but i'm contented today! :)

tired........ going to sleep now... -.-

2010-01-31T03:14:00.000-08:00

went to lot 1 today...

memories suddenly gush into my mind ..

first thing i saw was the Cotton On Body and Cotton On shop..
remembered how i used to drag him inside...
-i cried...

then went up, saw the shop selling baby things...
remembered how i used to stare at that shop with him...
-i cried even worse...

walked to the shop selling shoes..
remembered that i couldn't buy that particular shoe that time...
-i cried...

walk to couple's lab...
remembered how we got our first ring...
-feeling heartache, i cried again..

walked to Man Studio..
remembered that i wanted to buy a shirt for him there, afraid that he doesn't like...
-i felt sad...

walked pass pizzahut...
remembered the day when we had our last baked rice...
-i cried..

walked to action city, saw the cup he bought for me...
recalled all the words he said to me in his last letter...
-my heart cried....

walked to the cinema there...
remembered how we used to catch a movie there....
-i stare at the place...

just beside, saw that arcade...
remembered how we used to stand there and watch people play...
-i stare at the place too...

going down the escalator, saw the rooftop garden..
remembered how we ended there...
-i cried, clenching my fingers...

walked down to buy bubble tea.....
remembered that we used to buy bubble tea from that shop...
-i slowly drank that cup of bubble tea like this is the last cup on this world...

just beside, got a pet shop...
remembered how we got pudding there...
-cried...

walking back, saw the shop selling corn...
remembered how he used to buy sweet corn before coming over to my house..
-i cried while staring at the pictures of corns...

walked back to the lrt station...
remembered we used to have piekia's chicken pie before going to his house..
-i stood there, smelling...

walked pass This Fashion...
remembered how frequently we walked pass that shop.....
-many memories came back...

went to the bus stop...
remembered the days when i fetch him from school...
-feeling sad again...

queueing at the bus stop...
remembered the route to his house...
-i cried while pictures of his house flashed in my mind...

saw the colour of the sky...
remembered how often i see this kindda colour de sky each time i go his house...
-i cried like hell...

sigh...

2010-01-30T14:30:00.000-08:00

painted my whole room today..
feeling super exhausted......
but contented at the end of the day....

moodswinggg..
feeling super pek chek now -.-
realised that i'm stupid....for many reasons..

feeling so moody now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feeling super shocked also....
and somehow, heart pain...
didn't mean to say anything or point out anythng or prove anything..
just typing down how i feel.......
...........

2010-01-29T13:38:00.000-08:00

Trying to numb myself with everything I could find - I found.

Now, we shall see...

2010-01-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

Still feeling lost.........

Well... ... ...

Anyway , i'm glad that my sweetie msged me to ask me if i'm fine.
Thanks ZHENG WEI - you can see rite? ^^
My chubbiest cousin! <33333

I was hoping that kor would come my house stay during CNY -_-

1 year never see him ler.. it's quite sad actually..

I'm having sore throat and runny nose....

=.= FEELING HORRIBLE

2010-01-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

Went shopping with CANDY!!!!!
Surprised anot ?!?

it's the first time she ask me out leh!
I'M SO HAPPY! :)

I went to Jurong Point with $100 with me, I came home with only $25 left... -.-
.. heart pain.....

ANYWAY, i'm having a bad flu now.......
wanted to go playground eat chocolates today but i guess...... i'll get sick even more.. -.-
I can still eat chocolates at home! :)
55% dark chocolate wor.. jealous?
the darker it is, the better the effect of.... ....
becuz it's bitter........ trying to numb myself with everything i could find.....

Playground........ Memories there are priceless.....
..... .... ....
i go sleep already......

2010-01-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

Hows it..?
Pretty?
I drew this for jane's class noticeboard deco competition! :)
It's a pity that Jane and her classmates are going to tear this down after chinese new year.
And yes, TEAR DOWN ...

Nevermind.. i shall take it as i never drew this before.....
though it took me 2 days... -_-

shyt leh.. the feeling.. it's like efforts GONE !
JANE AND HER CLASS BETTER GET A PRIZE FOR IT OKAY! -.-
If not i will xin tong :(

Feel like eating pohpiah...
and chocolate...
and coffee bun...
and sushi...
and..... baked rice.....of cuz......... :)

...... HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2010-01-24T08:05:00.000-08:00

"The guy who discovered milk....What was he doing with that cow?"

This is a group in FB. lol. i find it super hilarious..

.........

Still feeling very upset..
I find it harder to smile these few days..
it's like.. no mood to smile?
nothing interest me like that..
not even drawing........

just very sian...

2010-01-23T20:31:00.000-08:00

Dad: If you go NAFA, then what happens to your future..?
Me: ... ... ...
Dad: I will support your decision de..
Me: Support me by saying when your heart don't mean what you say right?
Dad: It's your decision..
Dad: NAFA is like between poly and ite..
Me: Try to get into NAFA and show me la!!! *Walks away..*

.... feeling super horrible again..

2010-01-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

The cold wind is blowing strongly....
No sign of the sun....
The sky is grey.....
It's going to rain....

Why is it....so similar to how i'm feeling now......
Horrible feeling...

I'm so cold...

2010-01-20T00:52:00.000-08:00

i had to wake up at 7am this morning for the NAFA entry test...
IT'S DEAR WHO WOKE ME UP! :)
he gave me a morning call at 7am shaaaaaaaarp! So sweet right?!
He didn't sleep the whole night.. silly him.. :(
End up I had no time to bathe cuz he slept on the phone and i was reluctant to hang up HAHAHA!
nvm laa. still xiang xiang... =X

Went to NAFA by cab... spent $20+ for cab fare..
Took a cab because i thought i was late!
Couldn't afford to wait for dad to finish his breakfast.. =x

when i reach NAFA, i was all alone....... =.=
horrible feeling.. i had to ask ppl for drections.....
waited for Terin and her bf to come so i wont feel so alone.. LOL
When we reached, i went to my table, realising that 50 over people were staring at me and i'm like staring at them.. why? cuz my table was facing them! -_-
I duno why the tables were arranged like this but i feel so uncomfortable!

Haah! my drawing and painting.... hmm...
... lol...
When i see the drawings and paintings the 2 person beside me did, i'm relieved..
You know what I mean uh....=X
not say hao lian....
i'm worried that other ppl may be far better than me.... but..
whatever I've seen today, makes me think that okay, at least I'm not the worst artist here.. =X

I'm not trying to be hao lian or what..
But what i see really made me feel that i'm not the worst..
heng luh.. =X

My part 2 wasn't complete because i only had 2 hours.. -.-
2 hours to paint something detail isn't that easy at all.....

After that when i came back from NAFA.......
Shoulder super pain -_-
The test was OKAY...

heehee.. met dear for dinner at ZhengHua CC there..
ate chicken rice! .. I'm hungry again! LOL
After eating, dear bought HL milk for me.haah!
Didn't really like the feeling when hes paying for everything..
:( Owe him toooooo much already!
Hes just so nice to meee!

My phone got problem...keep no reception...
then everytime msging dear halfway or talk halfway, the line would just cut off..
=.= spoil mood..... Lucky dear was understanding enough....
I'll also feel bad because everytime he would have to forgive me...and my phone..?
Although he said he didn't mind but...... i'll still feel guilty... :(
ANYWAY... I hope daddy would buy me a new phoneeeeeee aft CNY~
I don't need a LG chocolate whatsoever..
i just need a phone to contact dear without problems can liao!

Going to meet dear now!!! Super happy! WOOO~

2010-01-17T09:21:00.000-08:00

Just now, my father told me in chinese.......
"Hey cherry , i think those paintings we saw at the NAFA open house, they're ordinary.. I think yours are better. It's unlikely that you can't enter.."

That sentence alone gave me confident! For more than 17 years, this is the MOST pleasant thing i heard from my dad..
Thanks people who encouraged me for my entry test!

Staring at the screen....
Don't feel like Mapling..
Don't feel like playing Neopets..
Don't feel like drawing..
Don't feel like doing anything..

Just want to see dear asap.....

Feeling quite tired now eventhough I've slept for so many hours already..
Don't know why these few days I'm feeling so tired..
Thinking of dear makes me want to stay awake forever..

I may be working at a childcare centre...
I love kids! Can't help it.. =X

AHHHHHHHHH GOING FIND DEAR ALREADY! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
PRATAA! =X

2010-01-16T04:45:00.000-08:00

Found out that I love dear more and more each day.......
If i tell him, i next dunnid sleep already... pai seh daooooooo....

Went to coffeeshop in the morning hoping to eat prata with dear...
PRATA NO MORE! grrrrrrrr.
nvm.. like what ppl always says.. "there's always a tomorrow.."
BUT I CANNOT WAIT YOU KNOW ... -.-
finally thought can eat breakfast with dear for once......
*poof* prata's gone, breakfast together is gone too!
quite upset until now......

Anyway now dear is having his dinner now!
wait for him to come back, wait for my parents to sleep then go find him lurhh !
:) CAN'T WAIT YOU KNOW??!

Urghh... Feel like sleeping already...
SLEEP IS NOT IMPORTANT! HAHAHAHA
Meeting dear is more important. lols~~~~

okokk... News about my NAFA thingy...

1) Same thing, my father still dun like me to go NAFA...

2) I don't need a portfolio! the guy who is in charge of the whole NAFA told me that. you think i can choose not to believe..? LOL He came to me and talk to me personally. I feel so..........wow......

3) I don't just want a diploma cert(3 years), i want a degree/bachelor. I can earn more money and repay back my parents easily..

4) If I can go NAFA, I'll have to look for a job, I'll be working for 4months+.

5) In order to complete my degree(Year 4, I'll be 22 years old..=.=), i'll have to go UK for 8 weeks. (I'll miss everyone esp my family and my dear...)

6) $4000/$7000 per year...... imagine the amount for four years....

7) No confident for the entry test still... Couldn't find any motivation.. I think other people are much more better than me, so my chances are slim....

8) I really love NAFA omg! LOLLLLL.. (okay . number 8 is random..)

so far so good! well.. not really.. although my father agreed to come to the open house with me, his heart isn't there. i mean, it's obvious because the head of NAFA told us that the cert is recognised by many many many places including goverment schools.. after the open house, my dad told me it ISN'T recognised by government schools...

he got listen anot?... it's like super obvious..
If it wasn't recognised, why did Miss Mandy graduate from NAFA and shes able to teach in my school? .... frustrated but at least he bring us there.....

okok.. enough of the NAFA thingy ...
My aunt said that NAFA is like an ITE.... what the hell ... ?
I cannot imagine what the other person will think of her if she says this to people outside... NAFA and ITE is like....... SUPER FAR... don't believe..? Get into NAFA let me see.. Who can't go ITE? I can, everyone can.. But can everyone go NAFA? NO! LOL!

super ridiculous ..

2010-01-14T08:09:00.000-08:00

Took these 2 photos before taking results!
I know these photos should be posted on the previous post but.. NVM! LOL

(below) Short hair! hahahahaha!

-------------

(Below) Smsing dear.. XD

------------------

(below) FOUND THIS ON MY COUSIN'S DRAWER!

cute horh!!! loooooool~

v^_^

Went swimming with jane today.....

urghh .. my skin.. and hair... sure dry like hell de..

I HATE IT!!! ROAR!

cab home just now, my card not enough money...

had to call mummy bring $10 down to pay cab fare.. xia suay...-.-

dun wanna go swimming next time alrdy...

just now when i was swimming, my handphone pouch lost sia..

then end up i run around looking for it. LOL

HENG THE CLEANER FOUND IT ARH!! -.-

omggggg.. so careless..

Waiting for my NAFA~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually i can go to the open house tmr... just that duno mummy want anot...

I DUN WANNA GO ALONE!!!!!!!! T_T

later lost again..! xia suay! -.-

mapling later... lv 6x liao horh! :)

hungry...... dad ate all the food.... URGHH! HATE IT.. -.-

.... a little tired after swimming......

but i still wanna go find dear! :)

i want PRATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

2010-01-11T02:22:00.001-08:00

Got 29 points for my O levels. song bo ?
4 pass only .. -_-
Art got only a B4... - fcuked up + useless + pointless grade..

Now my only wish is to get into NAFA .. -_-
Then now waiting for them to reply my email...
*worry......*

Dad thought i no paths to go already..
he say i must go work already... - what crap? -_-

I know what i want, i'll get it..
I'm still young.. 18 this year ? No problem what ..

I can study until like 30 years old ?
As long as I get what i want, i'm contented already..

Today , i'm so disappointed with my father's reaction...
... Luckily dear and mummy were there to CHEER ME UP!

Not feeling that horrible now.. :)
I'll go NAFA ... Then I'll go NIE to take courses then I'll become a teacher!
see, it's all planned already! just need supports from my close ones..

Daddy's words are so...... immature ..
Die die want me to go poly.....
Not happy, go for what ?

I rather spent my life time doing things that i like rather than being unhappy for life..
WHERE IS MR. LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE -_-

Miss Mandy told me quite alot of things.. LOL
Miss Mandy graduate from NAFA de... must listen to her eventhough shes not my art teacher..

Going eat dinner with dear later.. hahaha! cant wait! :)

2010-01-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

Oh .. Nearly burn down my house ...
Forgotten to off the stove after cooking. =X

Bought a new mirror for my room! hahaa!
You know .. girls must have mirror in their room... =X LOOOOL~

Almost had an asthma relapse this morning at .... ... duno what time ...
Of cuz lent inhaler from mummy luhh ...

Dear came home at 6am yesterday ... WOOAHH .
heehee! at least he got msg me when he reached home! :)
I just scared he cannot wake up today to go collect his results .. lol

Meeting Jezemine at 12 pm at mac! cant wait to see her laa!!
once again , i must tie my hair! LOOOOOOOL~

Went back to school just now at 9am to give school fees....
......... i had no feeling... not scared, not excited, not even happy.. -_-
Good or bad sign ? -_-

2010-01-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

Feeling super moody today...
scolded many ppl including my teacher...

-_- cannot control my actions ..
Heng my teacher was understanding enough..

2 more days and my results will be out soon..
my dad keep nag at me saying that my results are out TODAY..

yeah right la. listen to all his friends also dun wanna listen to me
so gan chiong for what ? i take results or he take ?

cooked for mummy just now...
my hand kena the hot oil .. pain like hell!
but nothing can be compared to how i'm feeling now...........

quarrelled with dear today..
feeling super remorseful...
what's the point of feeling that way ? - he don't even know..
Still worrying bout him though.....
hope he don't drink much....
missing him still....

Changed my blogskin cuz the previous one was hurting my eye.... -_-

2010-01-04T02:37:00.000-08:00

NAFA Open House 2010

Dates : 15 January - 16 January 2010
Time : 10.30am - 5pm
Venue : Foyer
NAFA Campus 1
80 Bencoolen Street
Singapore 189655
Enquiries : 6512 4071
Admission : FREE

A two-day event where students, parents and the public who are interested in the arts education, get to view the works of NAFA students, interact with NAFA lecturers and tour the campus facilities.

Event highlights include exhibitions, open classes, art-making demonstrations and career talks. It is the best time to find out more about NAFA’s various diploma and degree programmes.

Jezemine is so sweet lah! She wanted to give up 1 day of work just to pei me go NAFA see.. hehe

--
The admins from NAFA replied me.....

Please advise what is your educational background or visit the Open House on 16 Jan so we can discuss your case.

--

We shall go and see!! it's my future career i'm talking about and i'm sure of what i want already!
dun care dad allow or not, i'll just go!

2010-01-03T06:09:00.000-08:00

Went to BBQ with my family today.......
BBQ.... They brought frying pan to fry fish....
HOW FUNNY LAH!! -_-

----------

Some pictures of me. LOLS! pose then let mummy take de okay!

(above) Advertising for green tea..

ya ya.. LOL

----

LUCKLY got dear pei me the entire day by smsing me...

so sweet of him.. :)

i had no one to talk to, no one to smile at, no one to look at...

all go do their own things liao....-.-

i'm alone sitting at the mat.. so ke lian lah! LOL!

Taught my cousin to roller blade....

HE MADE IT! learnt it in a day! fast right ?

lol!

Dear is now sleeping.........

Shhhhhhhh.... =X

Meeting him later....

not intending to sleep....

CUZ NO SCHOOL TMR FOR ME! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

can have more time with dear already.. :)

can't wait you know!?

Random conversation with dad..

Dad: Hey Cherry.. Next time will you be able to support me and mummy?

Me: Yeah.. Most probably.. Depends on my job next time lor..

Dad: Will me and mummy end up selling tissues anot..?

Me: What the hell are you talking about ?!

Dad: I'm just worried..

Me: As long as I'm around, you guys won't sell tissues.. -_-

Dad: Okay, let's continue to watch TV..

2010-01-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling hungry......
Dear isn't here to pei me eat...
I'm not sad... I'm more worried than sad...
I'm here, wondering what he's doing...
Thinking and self-blaming that why i slept while msging him....
I should've tell him that i'm tired.......
infact, i don't even know that i sleep....